When I first started this blog in August 2010, the title sort of evolved because of the graphic of the page design plus a few synchronicities which involved the wind which I speak of in other blogs.
I've recently reconnected with my old mate and storyteller Arlo Guthrie whose album "Hobo's Lullaby" was a favourite of mine back in my teens. I stumbled upon this clip in which he tells of his Bob Dylan experience. For those who don't know " Blowin in the Wind" was written by Bob Dylan.
But - you see (like several artists who have been around awhile) Bob let me down a few years ago....
It was my birthday and my son and his family gave me a ticket to Bob Dylan who was playing in Brisbane. I was melting at the thought of hearing all my favourite songs. There, of course are so many. As I find it quite stimulating to go out, my friend Jan offered to pick me up, drive me there from the Gold Coast and drop me at the door , pick me up at the end and get me home. It was all planned down to a fine art.
First half of the concert - there was one song that I knew, the rest were new songs and I couldn't understand a word he sang. At interval I asked the person next to me what the deal was. He said "oh - he'll only do one more of his older songs - I've seen the setlist" It only took me a minute to decide. I headed outside, rang my friend who picked me up and I headed home.
I can't tell you how disappointed I was especially when everyone had put such thought into getting me there!! So that was my chance - gone!!!!!!!
And after all that I have come to very much appreciate artists who sing the old songs that the audience want to hear, and to sing along to - THAT is what MUSIC is for - we "get by with a little help from our friends" and we join together. It's not an ego trip.......... Bob! Bob! Bob! But I am SO grateful for your songs - oh yeah!!!
So now, listen to beautiful Arlo (just love him) as he tells the STORY of his Bob Dylan experience.
Christmas 2017 – the bells,
the magic, the synchronicities
One way to describe synchronicities is when something a bit
random or out of character happens and it leads to a series of related
happenings. The key is to just smile and roll with it, realising that the world
really IS a magic place if your eyes and heart are open.
It was random, the day I packaged up some Christmas cards in
a Santa stocking with the idea of getting Charli (grand daughter) to “play
Santa” and give them out to her little family. Washing my hands in the
bathroom, I spotted two golden bells which I had used for earrings one
Christmas. I love bells, so I attached them to the Santa stocking. Charli was
excited about her role and said “Nan – can I keep the stocking?” ..... “Of course you can C Ro!”
The day that I visited we played games and talked about
stuff. I asked Charli had she seen “ Polar Express” (I had seen it several
times but never watched it properly – just liked it ) Charli said “I love that
movie Nan!!!”
A few nights later I noticed Polar Express was on the telly
so I messaged her Dad to let Charli know and I made a “note to self” to really
watch it properly. I had never watched the ending before and was amazed to see
the ending. The BELL was a major feature of the story and the message of
Christmas.
I began to notice bells being a feature this year. My friend
Marilyn sent me a gift. It had been sitting waiting to be opened for a few
weeks as she always gets in early with her mailing. On the bottom – a bell!!
I remembered a video of Charli in kinder a
few years back and she was starring as she rang on her bell.
Jingle Bells kept turning up in movies and (of course
carols) – one is “The Christmas Gift” which begins with the song.
Then my friend Daisy (who shares and syncs with me all the
time – which is another story – uncanny). She had bought something at a garage
sale ....... a porcelain bell.
And for a few years now I have hung on to a set of earrings –
Christmas Bells.
One of John Denver’s early albums was called “Whose Garden
Was This?” It wasn’t a huge best seller – mainly covers – random.... He sang “Golden
Slumbers” (as per Abby Road) but decided he’d “carried enough weight” so instead
he sang “Sweet Sweet Life” (maybe an early understanding of the importance of
affirmations). The title was meant to be a commentary on the state of the
World. “Tremble if you Must” (maybe reference to the Aspen)........... but the
last song was (randomly) “Jingle Bells”
So make of this story what you will. It’s true. Maybe it
means nothing! I am not attached to what you may think.
But Daisy’s daughter, Mandy who is a beautiful Down’s
Syndrome lady is often “tuned” into things of magic..... so many
stories........ Two weeks ago Daisy bought 2 peacocks which she intends to hang
on her exterior wall. Her comment to me was something like “it’ll be
interesting to see what turns up” Today
I opened a parcel from Daisy and Mandy. Mandy had made me a card with a
beautiful verse (it was a recycled one but nevertheless – spot on!!). Guess
what the picture was????
7th December, 2020
Well - in 2017 Charli and Emmy received a Polar Express train from Nanny Maz. And Emmy got to know the story about Believing and the magic bell. The train had a bell and a light just like the real one.
Last year they decided to pass on the train to another little boy and girl and my friend Florence knew just the ones. Leo (who was 4 years old and his little sister Zali). When they first got the train via Nanny Florence they weren't very familiar with the story but Leo just loved the train and his Nan and Nanny Florence and now he is a big fan of Casey Barnes as he knows how it all came to be............ This is the video of Leo when he first got the train
And this year Leo and Zali's Dad has made the Polar Express pride of place around the Christmas tree.
Have a magical Christmas everyone
Saturday, November 7, 2015
The Magic of Alchemy
and my Bipolar
It’s been a
while since I’ve blogged and much has transpired. I went through a stage where
I felt that I didn’t need to talk about it anymore, but just to live it.... and
I’m still tending that way. About 9 months ago something unusual happened. A
post that I had written on 12th December 2012 suddenly appeared as
the most recent post, so I felt drawn to look at it closely. It was called “Poetry
to God”. The thing that stood out to me was God’s last comment to me and it
said “passivity child... let the roses come...” I had to look up “passivity” as
it wasn’t a word known to me. It means submission. I also was shown pg 11 “A
Hero with a Thousand Faces”, Joseph Campbell and once again reference to
submission. Then there was the ant plague, then flying ants and once again a
theme of submission when I googled this. So I decided I would try to “achieve”
submission as stated on pg 11. There were too
many red lights and I wasn’t dismissing them.
I’ve talked
frequently in my blogs about surrender and (of course) submission is a slightly
greater achievement......... not easy!!!! So when people seemed to be crapping
on me I was letting go and letting God.
One day I
had a day talking about the people who press our buttons and how they are
mirroring something to us... something we need to see in ourselves or to learn
from. I spoke to both my kids on the same day about this... then (as would
happen) a book arrived in the mail that day. It had been 3 weeks coming but
arrived THAT day. As I lay in bed starting with the acknowledgements I read “I
would like to thank all of those people who pressed my buttons because without
them this book would not have been written”... a theme that day.
So before I
went to sleep I said a prayer asking for help with someone I needed to forgive
and accept their actions in pressing my buttons. I was struggling to see with
this person what it was. I awoke at 3 am with a song in my head. I now know
this is called an ear worm. It wasn’t a song that had been in my head but it
WAS a song from the soundtrack of a movie and that person I was struggling with
had sent me that CD a couple of years ago. That’s when I knew I just had to
TRUST that all was well and forgive that person and myself. This was huge but I
felt so at peace when I worked it all out. How amazing.
So I
continued along with my passivity and kept seeing how if I let go and let God
there was a bigger plan and I just had to trust. I’m so much better at it now.
I have continued to be a couch potato / mountain in an attempt to be
responsible to the people in my life and to keep the “bipolar” in balance. I am
saying “bipolar” in inverted commas now as I believe it is just a label.... and
there are so many degrees of this “disorder” and so many interpretations and
remedies that it is unfair to say any one person has all the answers! Of course
they haven’t...... but there is a growing rumbling in the collective
unconscious and it is saying “there is more to this..... we are people
experiencing spiritual emergence and much of the population don’t understand”.
So groups like www.shadesofawakening.com,
www.bipolarorwakingup.com and movies like www.crazywise.com are making themselves
known. So many people who have been labelled are finding their voices and
speaking out and there are you tube clips galore. It is a positive time.
It’s
not just those labelled bipolar, but autism, asperger’s syndrome and more......
so forget the labels and start listening to the human beings and seeing the
amazing gifts they have to share with the world.
My amazing
mentor, Dr Wayne Dyer passed away at the end of August. I was lucky enough to
see him in Brisbane 2 weeks before and I will never forget it. He has taught me
so much. Gratitude doesn’t even seem a big enough word. But like I said in
other blogs “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” .... and he surely
did that. Carl Jung was asked whether he believed in God and he said “no... I
don’t believe.... I KNOW” I’m with
Jung... another big teacher for me.
And guess
what? The student must have been ready because a “biggie” popped up about 5
weeks ago – a course called “The Alchemy of Symbols” an online course run by 2
amazing teachers from South Africa. There were almost 100 students doing the
modules. I found MY TRIBE. My whole life I have thought about and related to
symbols and archetypes. I can see there is a plethora of material and I am only
scraping the surface but the revelations that have surfaced have blown me
away..... and I must admit I have struggled with hypomania and been taking some
meds for the last 3 weeks. I’m ok......... there’s always the couch for a
couple of days when necessary.
All I can
say is Carl Jung was an amazing man / psychiatrist and it has become obvious to
me that he has a large following. The quality of students participating in this
course at first left me feeling inadequate, but I gradually morphed into
things. I was a real student again for the first time in over 10 years and I
loved it. Jung introduced the likes of archetypes (although that was around
before him), understanding our shadow, the collective unconscious (we are all
one), symbols, synchronicity.
I still have
to watch myself and check my ego regularly. Even writing this I am wondering
whether it is about being right (ego – edging God out) or wanting to share and
maybe help someone else. I haven’t had severe depression for some time and I
have to say the world feels like a better place. I have also come to accept
that I have never felt “in” the world and that is hard to explain. I have gone
through the motions and done what I thought I should do..... but never felt
grounded in that... very difficult to live like that especially when for much of
it you don’t realise you are different in that way.
But don’t
tell me I am less of a person. Don’t call me names that “put me down”. Yes I
may be different...... but... let’s face it we are all different and that’s
what makes the world what it is. I don’t discount the law of attraction
although I have proven it can be a dangerous thing if your ego is driving
it...... BUT THE MIND IS A POWERFUL THING which must be respected....... and
even a tad “feared” at times as it can cause all sorts of strife including
depression, anxiety – well any disorder that is connected to our brain/ mind.
I have
learned there is something else at play – call it God, The Tao, The Source,
Higher Self.... etc but I know it is
there. How do I know? Synchronicities – that’s how. They happen to me... they
happen almost daily...... sometimes miracles..... How could I ever be the same
when this is so - ay Carl Jung?????
To try to
prove to someone what I know.... is becoming less important to me.. and when I
find myself going down that path, I get a vibe..... and I know to stop right
there.
I thank
every single person in my life as I have come to realise they are mirroring me
and on levels I don’t even understand , they love me... and I love them.
Monday, December 15, 2014
MY BODY IS MERELY THE
SHELL OF MY SOUL
There’s a
verse in the song “Eagles and Horses” – John Denver which says.... “my body is
merely the shell of my soul... but the flesh must be given its due.. like a
pony that carries its master back home... like an old friend whose tried and
been true...
I’ve
struggled with the BODY all of my life. I would get angry “why did I get the stretch marks, the cellulite, the obesity,
the fine horrible hair etc etc??? And it’s taken me a long time to work it out.
Now I feel
that if I had the so-called “body beautiful” that most people are constantly
striving to attain, I wouldn’t have discovered
the amazing insights into my soul that I have found especially in the last 20
years, because (for sure) I would have been flaunting myself all over the place.
A part of me knows that.. So “Thank you Universe for my Body”
THANKYOU – MY BODY
You
are my valued teacher
You
take my challenges and reflect them back to me
Thankyou
for being a patient mentor
I
value your strength of being
Your
power
Your
profound potential
I
honour you
Your
ability to rejuvenate knows no bounds
I
experience your healing power with gratitude
I
experience my well being
My
body is a harmony of being
I
am so fortunate for this opportunity
To
experience my physical being
I
embrace my physicality
Thankyou
my body, for sharing this life with me
Deborah
Mann
A few years ago I spotted this ode on my friend Helen’s
fridge. I asked her whether I could have a copy and she gave me hers.
Today, I spotted this on my friend Narelle’s face book page.
So glad I have learned the lesson of THE BODY and the lesson of SURRENDER before I have reached the end of my days as happens with many.
And then came this............. which sums up much of what I’ve
come to believe. Thanks Jim Carrey...
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
JUDGEMENT,
SELF RESPECT AND THE LILAC ROSE
It was my birthday - July 2014 and my friends Annette and Anayah surprised me and took me out for lunch. They are both "big" on angels and have a show on the internet called Angel Heart Radio. I hadn't experienced angels much except I'm sure I have a parking angel (lol). I asked my friends how I could research the subject and how would I know whether there are angels or not??? Their answer was "just ask.... just ask the angels to show you something that would leave you just knowing...." So that night when I went to bed, I said a prayer "angels can you show me something clearly?"
I awoke the next day and noticed just behind my eyes a lilac rose - not something I identified with,nevertheless it was clearly a lilac/ mauve rose and I said it out
aloud as I woke myself up. That day, when I was checking my face book page , I
noticed a story posted by a friend from Colorado. She shared a story about a
mauve/ lilac rose.
Her story told about when she stopped at
traffic lights and a total stranger (female) got out of her car, walked over and
gave Melanie a mauve rose. Me – mauve rose - twice in one day!!
And as the Universe would do, that same
night I was browsing my saved movies on Tevo. I came across one called “Bed of
Roses”. It was a romantic comedy about a lady who loved Mauve/ lilac roses. The
florist (potential beau) had a room full of lilac roses delivered to her.
To me – 3 things in one day was enough
validation of a synchronicity in action. I didn’t try to interpret it at the
time except to let my friend, Mel know the story. My mood would have been elevated
although controllable at the time.
The next two months were pretty traumatic
in my life – both emotionally and mentally. I came upon some realisations that
were pretty powerful. I remember years ago doing a workshop with a clairvoyant
who asked the participants to identify issues which we related specifically to
our same-sex parent.... and that this would be something that carried right
through our lives. The biggest issue that jumped out at me was / is JUDGEMENT.
I have also come to know that these issues are often coming FROM us as well as
TO us. I was seeing my SHADOW issues (see Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Robert O’hotto,
Caroline Myss, Allan Hunter, Wayne Dyer ) coming at me thick and fast through
the people closest to me. Shadow archetypes of the NARCICIST, the MORALIST, the
PREACHER, the JUDGE, THE BULLY the PASSIVE
AGGRESSOR, - Oh yes ALL of them in ME but being mirrored back at me. So really –
I have no right to be angry about this. The person mirroring ME is doing me the
biggest favour. I came to realise this big lesson.... and a big thanks to Di
for that early morning chat about pains in the neck. It helped me more than you
know.
At the time, I took a stand. I commanded
RESPECT, as that was what I felt I needed. SO – it was a double-edged sword. It
was those SHADOWS that I possess being mirrored at me but ME needing to respect
myself and ask to be respected.... so a BIGGIE!!
So – a big eruption happened in my life.
It was something I now feel was meant to be and was sure a learning curve in no
uncertain terms.
“JUDGEMENT” is a BIGGIE. We all do it.
WHY? WHY? WHY? Walk a Mile in my
shoes..... And - how profound that this song was from an album (I think) called "Joe South's Greatest Hits" - when I left my job at the Commonwealth Bank in 1973, it was the gift I chose upon leaving. Powerful song !!!!
Mid September I was talking with my
friend Helen, who grows roses, dabbles very much in colours and their meanings.
She sent me the meaning of that lilac/ mauve rose:
"For calmness of mind and spirit and
promotes a better connection to who you really are – an unlimited being,
co-creating with whatever God means to you. For change with dignity. Promotes
SELF-RESPECT and SELF-LOVE."
4th April 2017 There is a bit more to this story. Last year I had to go out to the shopping centre as I desperately needed a haircut. I had been living quite reclusively. I made an appointment and reluctantly headed off. Nothing went smoothly. I was trying to hurry but everywhere I went there were cues and people getting in before me. When I eventually made it to the hairdressers I was about 20 mins late (I'm thinking the Universe had a reason) and I probably got a different lady than I might have. Anyway - she was curious about me being on a disability. She was very chatty and very curious. I explained the bipolar and spoke a bit about my history and different ways I have tackled the issue. She said "have you tried crystals? Have you tried ANGELS?" (lol) I told her I had a meditation cd of Doreen Virtue and I told her my lilac rose story. THEN SHE SAID TO ME - " I USED TO HAVE A SALON. IT WAS CALLED HEALED BY ANGELS AND EVERYTHING WAS LILAC" Just another little part of the lilac story - around the time it first came to be, my son and daughter in law were producing a video for Casey's latest song at the time called "Waiting on the Day" and I was very conscious of the appearance of the colour lilac/ mauve in this clip. Somehow we are all one! Somehow we are all tuned in. XX
Friday, July 18, 2014
Gospel Changes
A few years ago when I was very high, my ego was "running the show" and I couldn't slow down. I had been running my computer ragged and (like the guy in the movie"Pi" who couldn't switch his mind off) I was restless - up and down / on a mission driven by that ego - that ego that will eventually bring you down when you allow yourself to be driven in a manic state. It is often the case that I have lost out and ended up hospitalised. EGO is such a hard one to master.
As usual John Denver was the central focus and I was playing songs on you tube. The song "Gospel Changes" was playing and the computer started to slow down....... until it ground to a hault and the screen froze on a picture of a holy book @ .42 secs, and the words " Take it easy. God's in Control" were staring at me. No accidents.........
Monday, February 10, 2014
MEDITATION
Close your eyes and imagine you’re standing on the
edge of a vast desert. For miles, there is nothing but sand and above you, a
clear blue sky. You feel strong. You sense you are on a mission.
Almost confirming that feeling, a vessel appears out
of no-where. It emanates the words “trust me”. It’s earthy and solid but is
steered by a red sail. You step aboard, confident, knowing you are safe and
that the journey you will undertake is meant to be for you.
The “all
knowing” wind blows you smoothly across the expanse. Your head held high and a
smile on your face. You have waited all your life for this moment. Shut your
eyes and surrender to the wind and for a couple of minutes (2- 3 mins) quietly
lose yourself in that feeling of anticipation.
After a while you arrive at an amazing oasis, a
contrast to where you came from. Beautiful trees and vegetation, birds of all
kinds, lots of colour around. The centrepiece is a mass of sparkling blue water
which is calling to you. Waiting right there is a diving board, all white with
sparkling glitter inviting you to dance aboard.
The water is calling to you and you dive in
confidently. Of course you find you can breathe freely. You swim down and down
until you come across a portal leading to a place beyond the water. You swim
through……………...... Come to rest in this space. Stand and experience the scene
(4-5 mins).
In the distance you see someone calling you. They have
your prize. You know it’s yours. You know that when you trust, surrender and
detach, the prize is waiting for you. As you get closer it becomes clearer and
clearer to all of your senses. Familiarise yourself with that special thing
which is uniquely yours and uniquely you. Hold it close to you and share the
love with that person who bears the gift. You know it was meant to be. Your
sense of gratitude is overwhelming.
Sit peacefully on the nearby bench seat and open your heart
to the unconditional love that you are feeling.
Experience the light
surrounding you yet feel your feet firmly on the ground. Breathe deeply and
relax. Smile and know that you are unique and special yet one with the world.